A Writer's Fragile Confidence

Most writers are in a state of gloom most of the time; they need perpetual reassurance.
- JOHN HALL WHEELOCK

If you're anything like me, you spend a lot of time doubting yourself. You'll have good day and bad days. Some days the Muse will sing and you'll feel great and every word your write seems like gold. Other days (and sometimes usually the next day), you reread your stuff or try writing something new and you feel like it's garbage, amateurish stuff.

And it's okay to feel that way. The above quote reminds us that we do need reassurance. But, does that always need to come from someone else? When do we be confident enough in our writing? Sadly, I don't think I'll ever be that way.

It's taken years for me to take criticism and listen. Confidence is something completely different. There's always that lingering doubt in my mind about my writing. There's that impish little devil on my shoulder stabbing with his pitch fork telling me I'm not meant to be a writer. I don't have to listen to him, but I do hear that voice, that doubt.

Non-writers have no idea the angst writers go through when they put their work out there. I've sent off the first forty pages of my novel to a circle of friends and I'm terrified of what they'll think. What if they think the last 3 months of work is crap? What if they tell me that I should quit the writing thing?

The one thing I can say for certain is that writing is in my blood. It's something I can't escape, something I can't not do. I enjoy doing it as well as struggle with doing it, but I can't see myself not doing it. Maybe I'll get some negative feedback, but I'll roll with it. Their opinion is not going to change what I want to do. It might be an indicator of my progress as a writer and might highlight what I need to fix. I won't give up. I might not have a hell of a lot of confidence, but I'm damn persistent!

The only thing I can do is keep writing...

Off to Baltimore tomorrow for the Borderlands Boot Camp

Feeling sooo unprepared. Work has been insane this week. Fortunately, I've completed my critiques of the other participants and I'm about 10% into my own piece, so here's hoping tonight is productive after I pack and print off my ticket.

I get into Baltimore around 2pm and the boot camp starts at 6:30. I'm hoping to visit Edgar Allan Poe's grave before it gets too dark.

Anyways, I'm sure I'll have a lot to blog about in the aftermath... wish me luck!

Borderlands Press Boot Camp

What is the Borderlands Press Boot Camp?

"You will be expected to log in many hours of intensive analysis and criticism from your peers and the three guest instructors who will be guiding you through all the major elements of writing fiction. 

You will be required to read (in advance) the submissions of your fellow workshop participants. (ALL OF THEM) Your weekend will comprise of: 

- lecture (not a lot)
- round table critiques (definitely a lot)
- analysis by the instructors
- Q&A panel discussion
- readings (of your work)
- a special exercise or maybe more... 

Think you’ve heard enough?

In addition, you will receive a general understanding of the state of modern publishing—that is where and to whom to submit your material, the real deal on editors and agents, the characteristics of the genres, the perception of the difference between mainstream and literary fiction, and even a few words on marketing and publicity. Have your questions ready.

You will learn all the basic elements of writing and the processes needed to finish your manuscript and have it ready for submission to the market place. But more importantly you will get the much needed FEEDBACK that is often the missing factor which contributes to the success (or failure) of many writers.

Each instructor has a specific area they will be emphasizing. If you’ve never experienced a piece of fiction deconstructed (especially your own) and analyzed in a high-intensity workshop setting, be prepared to learn things about you, your writing, and  your ability to tell a good story.

You will discover this workshop is primarily concerned with analysis and criticism—
that is, learning how to give it out, and more importantly,  how to take it. Professional writers learn early on the ability to receive and implement critical feedback is the most important element contributing to the improvement of their craft. 

When writers learn to EDIT their own work with a critical eye, they discover the ultimate key to their success."

Sounds intimidating and like a lot of work doesn't it? Well, as much fun as I have writing, it is work. Hard and solitary work. But there are great rewards. Like getting paid for your first piece of fiction!

The qualification is now open and if you're accepted (and they only accept 24 students), your work-in-progress needs to be in their hands by September.